My best momma tips for becoming a more present parent and enjoying your child’s childhood to the fullest, while still not losing sight of who you are and your needs – because momma is important too!
Stress causes us to become distant from our daily lives. Children, on the other hand, learn far more from our behaviours than from our words, so being someplace else emotionally is almost as awful as being somewhere else physically.
We’re all guilty of it at times, but there are things we can do to improve our ability to be more present.
According to this article, today’s parents spend more time with their children than any previous generation. And yet, if we aren’t completely focused on our children, we feel always guilty.
This stems from a desire to bond with our children. To have strong bonds with others. And to offer them a sense of acceptance and belonging in our family.
Everything is fine. However, if we aren’t careful, such things might lead to a sense of false shame and judgement.
The bottom line is that if you want to be a more present parent, put down the social media on the cell phone and make sure to spend quality time with your kids everyday. Busy parents just need to give a few moments of undivided attention to fully connect with a child, even if you don’t have much time. This important moment is a great way to strengthen the parent-child relationships.
So take deep breaths and learn some new ways you can be a more present parent starting today.
The Pitfalls of Trying To Be A Present Parent
- By always feeling insufficient. That we don’t spend enough time with our children playing, laughing, or talking. We can allow this false guilt make us feel like permanent parent failures even though we spend a lot of time with them.
- By raising children who expect our complete attention at all times. As a result, entitled children and parents are born, with little time to take care of their own affairs.
How To Be a More Present Parent In A Healthy Way
Practice Self Care
Being a present parent is all about your children, but you must first take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself and your children at the same time does not have to be difficult if you understand the value of self-care and make it a priority. At the end of the day, if you do not give yourself attention, it will be more difficult to create a meaningful connection with your kids.
Wake up before The Kids
There are several advantages to waking up before your children. Though it’s great to get some more sleep, waking up before the kids is one of the most powerful tools when it comes to being a more present parent.
Being the first one up sets a good example, allowing you to organise your day, from breakfast to activities, and allows you to be alone with your thoughts before the day becomes busy. You will be more clear-headed and able to be present with your little kids because you had some quiet time.
Listen to your kids
If you want a happier family life, listening to your kids is one of the more simple ways you can make that happen. When we ask our children a question and then think about other things as they speak, we are often present yet absent at the same time.
Keep this in mind! Inquire about their day and pay attention to all they say. Ask questions. To demonstrate that you were paying attention, repeat what you heard and make eye contact.
They deserve a smile. Engage them if they engage you. To chat with your kids, you don’t always need to print a beautiful printable conversation starter. Pay attention to their inquiries and get to know them.
This doesn’t mean you should drop everything every time they ask you a question (particularly if it’s the 506th time), but it does mean you should let them know you’re available for them. You’re ready, if not eager, to speak with them. Being heard and understood is a big part of feeling welcomed.
Focus On Family Time
Family time is very important. Working on improving family time today can help you create a deeper trust with your kids when they become older and need you more. Give your kids your full attention and spend high quality time with them. This is one of the more important parts of mindful parenting, and it affects the whole family.
This may seem self-evident, but it’s not always as simple as it appears. Consider whether you’re always brushing your children aside. Assure them that they may come to you with any questions they may have, and that you will always respond honestly and thoughtfully.
Learn your child’s Love Language
If you want to be a more present parent, learning your child’s love language is very important. Even the most busy mom should be able to connect with her young children in a small amount of time if they can identify their child’s love language. Learn more about the love languages of kids here.
Have daily Routines with your kids
You don’t always need to arrange anything big if you have certain daily activities that provide children time and attention.
Simple gestures like no screens at mealtimes, reading before naps and sleep, talking before bed, and asking questions at school pick-up show your affection for your child.
You’re already providing your child with a lot of praise with regular hugs, cuddling, and roughhousing.
Teach your children to wait
Although it may appear to be the polar opposite of “present parenting,” you are not required to leap when they say jump. In reality, giving your children a fictitious sense of control over their life makes them feel uneasy rather than secure.
Your child will learn patience, self-control, and trust by teaching them to “give you a minute.” When you follow through on your promises, you earn trust.
Your youngster will have to wait until you have finished conversing with your husband, unloading the dishwasher, or putting the baby to bed. When you’re ready, get down to eye level and listen. When you follow through on your promises, you earn trust.
There’s no better way to show a youngster that you’re present with them than to make physical touch with them. A strong embrace shows that you care and that you are present.
Know Your Limits
Ignoring your urge to be refreshed is one of the quickest paths to the “I have to ignore my kids today or I’ll shout” phase. You’ve gone over the point after days of hypervigilance and nights of nocturnal wakings.
We just do not have the capacity to offer our children the attention we desire when we are emotionally exhausted and overworked. This is why, as much as possible, we must make time for ourselves in our daily lives. The more focused we are, the more we must provide to our children.
Encourage Independent Play
Children who are accustomed to playing alone and relying on their imagination rather than being entertained are happier in their own company. They are less needy, whiny, and do not develop the habit of acting out in order to gain attention.
When you combine it with a mother who already provides consistent daily care, you get a self-reliant child who is secure in their parents’ love and devotion.
The less a child can occupy itself, the more time they spend at your feet. You attempt to get away from them the more they are at your feet all day. And the more you want to get away from them, the more terrible you feel, and the worse your kids act in an attempt to get away from them.
Let your children be part of everyday tasks
Allowing your children to participate in common duties such as cooking and arranging the house keeps them physically engaged while also allowing you to be present with them. Allow them to assist you in preparing supper or walking the dog. Most of these jobs provide you plenty of opportunities to speak and instruct, as well as establish healthy habits for the future!
Tips To Be A More Present Parent Bottom Line
Your children will always adore you, and you will love them no matter what. The more you practise being a present parent, like anything else in life, the simpler it becomes and the more natural it feels. One day, you’ll look back and realise how well you did and how much enjoyment you brought into their and your life.
Once you start becoming a more present parent, you’ll see your child’s behaviors improve and see all the good habits that effect your family life in a positive way in today’s world. The best pieces of advice I can give you as another busy mom in this world is to just enjoy your kids and make sure to connect everyday while not forgetting about yourself. You are more important than a messy house, so stop cleaning and get down on the floor to play with your little one, even for 5 minutes. You won’t regret it.