3 Things That Are More Important Than Discipline When Raising Kids

As if it were the most essential element of raising children, a plethora of parenting books and articles teach us how we should and shouldn’t punish our children.

While I believe our tone and actions during correction are essential, I feel we are overlooking a few key aspects of parenting.

It’s easy to lose sight of the broader picture when we’re too focused on behavior change.

“Many people believe that discipline is the essence of parenting,” stated Dr. Gordon Neufeld. That, however, is not parenting. When your child misbehaves, parenting does not mean telling him or her what to do. Parenting is defined as “creating the circumstances for a kid to reach his or her entire human potential.”

Today, I’d want to focus on the broad picture and explore three areas of parenting that have a significant influence on our children’s development.

3 Things More Important Than Discipline


The most essential aspect of parenting, in my opinion, is the bond we have with our children. How effectively they listen to us, accept our limitations and values, and collaborate is determined by the value of our connection. Our connection serves as a model for future relationships since it is where they learn what human relationships are like.

We have established a good standard if we have a healthy relationship built on trust, empathy, respect, and compassion. Intimidation, control, compulsion, or fear in a relationship lowers the bar and makes this type of connection acceptable.

To create a fantastic connection, follow these steps:

  1. Spend quality time with your child doing activities that he or she enjoys.
  2. Enter their spheres of influence and interact with them there.
  3. Listen attentively.
  4. Make good on your commitments. Be dependable.
  5. Rather than shrugging aside unwanted emotions, show compassion and empathy.
  6. Encourage others and reflect light.
  7. Respect one another.
  8. Positive discipline should be used.

Here is a must-read on relationships: Parenting Mindset: Your Relationship Is Affected by How You See Your Child on Bad Days

Create A Family Culture

The family culture you build is the experience you provide for your children. It’s a complicated tale including ideas, attitudes, values, habits, and traditions, among other things. Your family culture is essentially the environment in which you raise your children. It has a significant impact on who people become.

Your Relationship With Spouse

How you connect with your spouse/partner is something your children are observing and learning from. You are their first introduction to romantic relationships, and they frequently reflect what they see every day. Here are five suggestions for improving your connection with your partner.

Emotional tanks should be filled. Every person has an emotional tank that has to be replenished. When your emotional tank runs out, much like your car’s petrol tank, your relationship begins to splutter. It may completely break down if the tank is empty.

Keep your partner’s tank filled by being aware of emotions and recognizing when he or she is pleased, sad, enthusiastic, concerned, etc.; make daily emotional deposits – encouraging words and affirmations or loving actions(love language); and listen to dreams, hopes, ideas, and wishes.
Concentrate on the good. Focusing on what you don’t have leads to bad sentiments in your relationship. Instead, concentrate on your partner’s excellent characteristics and make a point of publicly expressing your respect and gratitude.

Make a productive argument. Although conflict is unavoidable, connected couples establish ground rules for resolving disagreements and avoid fighting dirty.
Be a flirty person. Don’t give up on courting your mate. A wink across the table, dress up, tell inside jokes, and kiss frequently.
Leadership should be shared. While it’s good to agree to assign duties, running a household and raising children isn’t simply one partner’s responsibility. Everything is done in a team effort.


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